bits and crumbs of MY LIFE

=(

2009-11-27T20:27:00.002+08:00

sigh what's wrong with me?

wahh

2009-08-29T12:16:00.000+08:00

very busy very busy
and sick with fever =_="
but nevertheless
a friend's b'day and another friend leaving next week made me very the energetic for everything they've planned
haha
only now i've the time to write up something bout this very good friend of mine

She is different from others I've known. She's there for me when everyone's not around. She listens to me even when I may not be making any sense lol. She gives me the best advice around here, always able to look through me and tell me what I actually wants. Always there to lend me your shoulders and hand whenever I need some comfort and care. Throughout the years, we've become closer given to my constant flying back for occasions. You should appreciate that eh...She loves everyone around her, giving them much care. But sometimes her si mai bin really very hard to tahan..ugh..Life without her may be very boring as she provides lots entertainment nowadays wahahha

Dearest you,

Thank you for always being there for me and it's the utmost pleasure to have you around all the time. No matter what, you've been the best I can ever imagine. Love and care is all I can ever give you and hope you the best in your future endeavours.Hope you enjoyed your b'day surprise and the gift we prepared.

xoxo

and dubbie flying back next week. sigh..hope she doesn't have to leave but oh well, studies ma..
such a good hols that we've spent together, never a disappointment to have you around :)
always able to crack some jokes or bring some drama into our lives
hehe
take care babe, hugs

wonders in my life

2009-08-13T17:13:00.004+08:00

little things do wonders
a sms from a long time friend
a smile from a stranger
a good laugh at jokes
a hug from a close friend
a kiss from nephew

all this made me contented :)

plain disappointment

2009-08-03T21:05:00.001+08:00

when even close friends doesn't understand you
what will you become?

:(

2009-07-25T16:50:00.001+08:00

who can hear me out when i have no one to turn to?

how annoying

2009-05-12T13:44:00.001+08:00

Ida Scott Taylor once wrote, 'Do not look back and grieve over the past, for it is gone; and do not be troubled about the future, for it has yet to come. Live in the present and make it so beautiful that it is worth remembering.'
This quote is so real that I do think that it's talking about me. I still believe that it is, I tend to think a lot and waste my time on stuffs that are not my priority now, I can't help it la.blah
All the job searching thing have taken its toll on my life and it sucks to be the one without any interesting stuffs to write in a CV. And I've made my decision to just throw the whole job thingy to the back of my head and forget bout it for the mean time.
And now, I should continue studying and stop procrastinating just so that I won't regret when I receive my results in August. However, I'm looking forward to hanging out with my bitches *winks jade wheeeee she's coming back soon, real soon actually. I am whee-ing again.
ok, bye for now.

valerie teo

2009-03-25T20:44:00.008+08:00

this girl has me in her heart

she offers me her shoulder whenever i need it
she listens to whatever shit I'm going through
she hugs me tight just the way i like it

she laughs with me like there's no tomorrow
even if it's the most random small thing in life
she tells me the truth even if she knows it may hurt me
but all the same not allowing anyone to take advantage of me

she wants me to be better than now
no matter where she is, i know i can rely on her, even though we're miless apart not being able to talk everyday
she never failed to share what's best of her with me

she loves me without any expectation
never judging me in whatever i do even though sometimes it is outrageous
and for that i love you *winks

she knows me, maybe even better than myself
predicting what i will say before i say it
people says we look like sisters,
having interest in same stuffs ie music, clothes, shoes etc.
from the day we sat together in class, we are nearly inseparable ever since
i'm glad to have her in my life

and this day is her BIG day

HAPPY GRADUATION MY LOVE
i'm incredibly proud of you *skips and swirls
all your hard work paid off
it's a shame that i couldn't celebrate it with you,
but I know that you'll have a great time with the family you loved
and we'll continue our party when you comes back, i promise
xoxo,
your most awesome, absolutely adorable and bestest friend

sis

2009-03-01T11:35:00.006+08:00

my annoying SIS went back to aussie
although she's very much a pain in the ass sometimes, but she always makes me laugh
we can just look at each other and laugh with no other reasons
such simple happiness fills my heart
bugging her, poking her, asking for her attention become my favourite pastime for all times other than shopping that is
we have our fair share of arguments (which siblings don't have that?? =P)but within few hours we'll just make up
mum always says you two should love each other more
but nobody knows how much i tend to pamper this lil sis
i don't let anyone to hurt her, whoever goes against her has me to face with first
whatever she wants i always do my best to make it up to her (ok except for those expensive gifts that i can't afford)

When i look at our pics, it made me realised how little pics we have taken together
come back quickly and we'll take tons of pics ok
I'll miss you a lot
xoxo

people always leave

2009-02-20T01:23:00.003+08:00

I hate it when i'm the one stuck here sending people off
it sucks especially when all of them are close to you
at first it's val, then jade and now MJ
wth
anyways, 'people always leave' quoting peyton sawyer
i miss you already :(
i still wish you don't have to leave especially since you've been the only one in kl with me
ok ok, i do hope you'll enjoy your anew life in the land down under
i have your back no matter what ok
xoxo

no comment

2009-02-01T00:45:00.003+08:00

'please look at yourself before saying something bout someone else'
so easy to understand but not much people actually know
even friends can just kick you in the ass
i guess this is life

never it is

2009-01-05T21:24:00.001+08:00

i wish i am you
:(

heavy-hearted

2008-12-18T21:15:00.002+08:00

after the penang-cameron trip, the feeling of everything-is-coming-to-an-end washed over me
it's been 2 and a half years together
we see each other almost everyday, spending time to eat lunch,go movie-ing, go for trips,go sing k bla bla bla
time flies away soooo fast that i couldn't even overcome the fact that it's over
i wished it doesnt have to end like that

friends

2008-12-14T01:06:00.002+08:00

was hanging out with ruby the whole day
ended up in redbox for buffet dinner and some serious k-ing
out of the sudden this song came up
朋友 by 周华健
ok i know, this is super old school song
the lyrics started to get on me and ruby, laughing our ass off while singing
but omg this song really describes friendship appropriately
through thick and thin we stood by together,loving friends like own family
staying friends forever, those memories we had :)
ok i need to sleep,going penang in 3 hours time
gonna pack that's all peeps

朋友周华健
这些年一个人
风也过雨也走
有过泪有过错
还记得坚持甚麽

真爱过才会懂
会寂寞会回首
终有梦终有你在心中

朋友一生一起走
那些日子不再有
一句话一辈子
一生情一杯酒
朋友不曾孤单过
一声朋友你会懂
还有伤还有痛
还要走还有我

:)

2008-11-27T13:34:00.001+08:00

i love my parents

my very annoying little sis

my bodoh mafifia

my lovable missdunno

they perfected my day
:)

九个月

2008-11-22T19:31:00.000+08:00

九个月并不算长也不算短
但是当日的甜蜜早已是过去
今日你是否过得很好？
我想知道
分手当日的情景我还历历在目
过了一年又一年
第二次在一起的感觉就是不如从前
明明知道却不舍得开口
还想抓住那一滴的留恋
那本日记是在认识你的时候开始写的
每一页都记载了我们之间的点点滴滴
无论是开心或伤心的
我不敢翻开它
就只怕我会忍不住，我不想记起你的事
就是想放开自己
让我好过点
我喜欢以前的我
以前那个天塌下来还可以哈哈大笑的我
那个每天都可以用微笑迎接美好的一天
期待着爱情
过了三年，为什么你还是可以那么轻易的影响我？
听到朋友跟我说你的事的时候，我的心就好像被压着，无法呼吸
我要更坚强的面对你，我必须把你永远埋起来
不会再是用这样的情感对你

忘不了

作词:施文斌
作曲:施文斌
监制:施文斌杨震

翻开一本旧日记
记载着一段旧恋情
每段都那么的甜蜜
往事历历在这里
曾看过多少的风雨
曾说过要到哪里去
曾做过觉得傻的事
爱过在这城市里
昨晚下了一场雨
让我忽然梦里见到你
躲在某个地方哭泣
好想紧紧抱着你
有一次从朋友口中听到你消息
我的心都在发抖
你是否孤身一人
我不停追问
分手两年后我还是想着你
多久没有见过你
现在你住在哪里
只怕有一天我们都会老去
只想留一点回忆
能够让我们依靠
我在一个咖啡店
透过玻璃窗往外望
你的人影无所不在
无心无魂的想你
为什么人总要等到失去才珍惜
我来不及想告诉你
要永远不分离

where is the promised happiness 说好的幸福呢

2008-11-16T15:00:00.000+08:00

恋爱中的人总会说我会永远爱着你，我会一直在你身边陪着你，我要和你一起慢慢变老，老到哪儿也去不了，我还依然把你当成我手心里的宝，我们七老八十的时候我要牵着你的手到公园散步，那些山盟海誓听起来是多么的动人，但是又有多少人真的做到呢？承诺常常都被抛到脑后，竟然做不到那又何必呢?这样不是更伤人吗？难道那些都是骗人的吗？难道以后我们都不应该相信了吗？

当感觉消失了，那些一起拥有的回忆却永远的存在，不因时间而改变。那些回忆都应该锁起来，就像音乐盒，如果你不去触碰它，它永远都会停留在那个时候，但你一旦把它打开，你就会又想起那些回忆，开心得就得记得，而不开心的为什么不把它忘记呢？

而我曾经也以为我会爱一个人一辈子，但发现原来不是那样的，他的一切是那么的美好，他的温柔，他的每一句话都深深的刻在我心里，那些说好的未来，是多么的甜蜜，但后来却一一的被抛弃，被忘得一干二净。我们说好的幸福呢？那时的你是多么的绝情，我哭了，我累了。

虽然我或许还没办法把它从我生命里完全的删除，也或许永远都没办法，但至少我可以大声地说你是我生命里的一部分但不是全部。

说好的幸福，回忆里的音乐盒。

说好的幸福呢 - 周杰伦

填词：方文山作曲：周杰伦

你的回话凌乱着在这个时刻
我想起喷泉旁的白鸽甜蜜散落了
情绪莫名的拉扯我还爱你呢
而你断断续续唱着歌假作没事了
时间过了走了爱情面临选择
你冷了倦了我哭了
离开时的不快乐你用卡片手写着
有些爱只给到这真的痛了

怎么了你累了说好的幸福呢
我懂了不说了爱淡了梦远了
开心与不开心一一细数着你再不舍
那些爱过的感觉都太深刻我都还记得
你不等了说好的幸福呢
我错了泪干了放手了后悔了
只是回忆的音乐盒还旋转着要怎么停呢

update on recovering :)

2008-11-08T19:00:00.000+08:00

tiff has been complaining my blog has been dead for too long, it's supposed to go on hiatus until i recover from everything..
but it takes time to do so..if i wanted to wait till i've fully recovered,i think tiff will probably kill me for that
lol
i've actually been isolating myself this few days from everyone else, not msn-ing my girls as often as i did, not calling them up, not talking to my sis..ruby and tiff were my life saviour, they listened to my shits, accompanying me here and there..
i should be studying though, instead of procrastinating..but especially when a lot of things get on your nerves, it's hard to concentrate on your studies..ok..that maybe an excuse..lol
whenever someone asks me how are you, i've been better..not a day have i gone through not thinking bout the past, i know past is past and i should look forward..who doesn't know it..there's also wounds that time won't be able to heal, not now not forever, however the more i wanted to forget the more i'm not be able to..finally i decided to keep all this inside my heart and makes them the most precious memories and with that i've become who i am today..before sleep every night i tell myself, tomorrow is a better day,a very old-fashioned saying but i still think that it really is..
we always have to follow our heart in a lot of things, everyone of us..only our heart know what is best for us, i guess.that's all for now..bye peeps

P.S. thanks tiff for the JCo donuts and your company :)

recovering

2008-10-17T21:35:00.000+08:00

i'm recovering
which is why i've been MIA
and i shall come back with a blast
when i can smile and wave my past goodbye
for now,i need time to hug my teddy and bury myself in the midst of sadness

loving myself

2008-10-12T17:19:00.001+08:00

out of the sudden i realised
all this while i may not love myself as much as i thought i have
i thought not doing things that hurt myself is loving myself
maybe not..
if i love myself i won't let myself be in this kinda situation
i wont let myself be bothered with all this frustrations
the thought of not loving myself is unbearable
how can i not love myself?
i need to love myself
i shouldn't think so much anymore
instead of thinking all those stuffs maybe it's better for me to put it all behind me

.....

2008-10-07T19:39:00.000+08:00

hmmm headache
what should i do?
i hate this kinda feeling
tears all dried up
another post of emo-ness :(

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2008-10-06T06:32:00.000+08:00

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me me me

2008-10-05T14:32:00.000+08:00

sometimes people just don't mean what they actually said and that sucks
alone in the night thinking at what you've done for the day makes you realise you should do more than that to make up for the time you've lost
maybe it's time to throw everything I'm worried about out of the window
maybe I should think bout myself for once
maybe i should smile at those who blew me off and say goodbye for good
maybe i should do all that but one question popped into my head
how come it's all easier said than done?
i do admit that i don't have enough determination and courage to do all that
today is just one day that i wanted to lie on my mum's bed and tell her how much i miss being a kid

my burfday

2008-09-30T21:19:00.000+08:00

my b'day was amazing with lots of friends around me:)
Tiff,Stan, Kyle and Kane..thanks for the surprise b'day..and the hell one pack of beers for b'day present..it was cool having u guys around and hanging out has definitely turn up a notch with u guys
my ACCA gang was incredible, it's hard to see everyone around this days but they made it possible for everyone to have dinner together..the japanese food was yummyyyy
and lastly but not least my family and friends back in Sibu
we sang our lungs out one whole nite and that was superb! of course la..see who's singing ma
i love all the pressies i've received and i love you all!! xoxo
p/s pictures up soon!

going home =))))

2008-09-25T21:46:00.000+08:00

yipppeee
I am going back to my hommmiiieee next week
actually going back kinda mafan also..
my mum needs me to bring this bring that
oh well, beggars can't be choosers *winks
she IS paying for the bloody expensive plane ticket
ok i shouldn't complain..

PS I know I kinda promised Stan and Ruby that I'm not going back..
but guys, I seriously am sorry
practically whole family called me yest to get my ass home
lol
not kidding
I'll make it up to u guys ok...too bad that we can't plan our trip to somewhere..
hmmph..
but there's still other time ok..?!
mucha love and hugs and lotsssssssssssssssssssssss of muaxxxxxxx

stress

2008-09-23T19:31:00.000+08:00

last few days when i was walking back home from hostel, i saw a notice outside my lift.
RENTAL STARTING JAN 2009
SINGLE ROOM RM 880
oooooooooohhhhhh my f*ing GOD
I started swearing all the way back
last year the rental just increased for RM 100 and now it's going to increase again?!
the bloody sunway hostel management is just like a vampire keep sucking our blood especially my sweeeet blood
I still don't understand the increase of our rental, nothing has been improved and the stupid security guards are being more and more ridiculous
being late for curfew bout 10 mins also not allowed back into the hostel without detaining our hostelites card...pfffftttttttt
even parents are not allowed to come up to our rooms..wth?
all our monies just contribute to the new guard house equipped with air con...i repeat air con in a guard house..whoever who wants to have a good life as a security guard, come to Sun-U Condominium Hostel..bodoh..that is sooooo not the use of our money
Hostel condition remained the same, nothing changed..and yet they kept increasing the price..
AND this makes me feel guilty for staying in hostel which in turn gives rise to my mum telling me to study hard and don't fail, just hang on for the next half a year *shakes head
easier said than done
I know that I can't fail but still, I'm stressed!!!!!!
insomnia has been chasing me again..
ughhhh

PS I miss homeeeeeeee :( who wanna sponsor me back home next week?!come and register yourself with me :)

oh fark

2008-09-20T19:21:00.000+08:00

bugger
my battery has officially died
no more energy left to do whatever stuffs that I have to finish this week
including my revision for the progress test
what you get from 5 days of sleepless nights and 2 nights of excessive drinking and dancing are horrible-terrible-vegetable-eyebags, rashes on face and pimplessssssssssssssssssssssss popping everywhere
and now, my new resolution is sleep and study =(
before ending this one, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TIFF!! muaks love you lots

hurricane

2008-09-19T03:54:00.000+08:00

this few days is going to be a hurricane
Firstly. Tiff's b'day is on the 19th of September which makes it tomorrow to be exact
Euphoria here we come!
LOL
and then hanging out with Kar mun, whom i haven't seen in like god knows how long
AND then chloe is coming to KL tomorrow
so tiff said we're going out tomorrow
and that makes it wat..how many nights in a row I should go out...?!!!!
and the exam that i haven't prepare for next week
WTH??

sushi zanmai~

2008-09-12T21:15:00.001+08:00

Sushi Zanmai
one place that my chica aka JADE likes to go
actually it's one of the 2 places she go for meal in KL (she thinks she's autistic because autistic people like to do something repetitively)

Today me and her sis, Ruby decided to go there for our lunch and then sent a mms to her just to 'kek' her LOL

And that is my fingers there..saw that?! lol
I know we're pretty 'boh liao' but..who won't do that especially we know that she blardy loves the place :P
In the end, she gave up waiting for the mms and called us instead..this leads to us talking and laughing with the phone speaker on for almost one hour.
oh man, I almost forgot how it feels like talking to her on the phone, it has been sooooo long since we had this kinda updates..ok,maybe not..only one week..but but still.... I miss you la jade babe
come to kl quick!!!!! =(

This reminds me of our high school time where we always talk non-stop in class, no matter the teacher in class or not..oh no, not in history and malay classes..because in history class u usually fell asleep when teacher was half way through the story..LOL *winks
And also our going to toilet period..the moral teacher almost banned us from going to toilet during her period... =P

Another thing today, I was talking to my sis's boyfriend, Stan and that makes me realise something. All this while I thought I was being the communication bridge between my sis and my mum. Alah, they are just not wanting to say out their feelings and talk to each other when stuffs happen. That is another long story. But I have to salute Stan, he has to listen to me when I bitch bout my sis and then listen to my sis again when she complains bout me..LOL poor you!

He's trying to make everyone satisfied with the end result and happy with it..it's quite seldom for us ladies to meet a guy who can put you and your family in place. Sometimes guys are just being guys, not only not sensitive but also over-protective (sorry guys I was just being honest...lol) Although sometimes he's lame, well maybe most of the times his jokes are lame..but, I still have to give him the credit for always being there for my little sis and ME of course..being with the sis makes it compulsory to take care of her big sis aka me as well..ok, you(stan) better not be proud of this one here..

This is how a boyfriend should be anyway, actually communicates with the family, that's what I think. At least give a good impression and you'll be safe and sound..at least for now..LOL

First and foremost

2008-09-11T01:15:00.000+08:00

ok, this is my first blog which goes public. Since one of my chicas complained i didn't let her see my last blog (which i deleted for some reasons), I decided to set up this blog just for the fun of it and I know she would like very muchieeee *winks to see how my life in KL looks like at the moment.
To be honest I personally do not think that my life is happening like how they described although it maybe a lot 'dramatic' compared to others. But i have to say this, I couldn't help it that people around me like to makes me look dramatic with all their nonsense *rolls eyes .
Sometimes it is frustrating that there's too much things to 'handle' in your life. But think again without all those stuffs I'll be bored. Just like how i treasured my bunch of chicas around me. They not only provide entertainment to me but also add colour to my life by just being there (seeeeeee I'm praising you guys lol)
Okla, maybe I'm catching bugs into my butt like what grace said. But anyhow, this is what that makes me what I am today. At the very least I know how to handle those security guards without losing a hair. HAHA.. and and all this experiences add flair to the story of my life without fail. :)
Anyway that's all for now and I need my beauty sleep. C'ya next post!